James 0′Shaugnessy of Hubbard Woods spoke for the brow-beaten or harassed species, while Mrs. Thomas G. Spearing of St. Louis interceded in behalf of the wives.
Some people who contemplate marriage keep in mind James Thurber’s famed “War Between Men and Women” and are fearful lest they be forced to take part in something like the “Battle on the Stairs.”
This is not the point, according to Mr O’Shaugnessy. He does not see men and women being segregated into armed camps, fighting pitched battles, with man eventually subjugating woman.
Backbone of Nation
O’Shaugnessy says that a sound family life is the backbone of the nation, and that such family life springs from a strong and happy marriage. To that end it is necessary to expend some real effort in being a good husband. And the easiest way to be a good husband is to select a good wife.
Choosing a good wife is far from a simple trick, but there are certain qualities to look for in a girl. There is no law against her being pretty or having a bundle of currency, but these are not requisites.
Character, and the ability to share sorrow as well as happiness help to make for real love and a permanent marriage. It helps some if she is able to cook.
O’Shaugnessy said he felt that children were a “must” for a lasting marriage, and that it is up to the man to assume his responsibilities as a parent as well as a husband. There are some fellows, he said, who tend to shirk the responsibilities of marriage and toss the reins to their wives. When the wives refuse to accept them and toss them back, marriages sometimes crumble and end up in the courts.
Give and Take
The young lawyer told his overflow audience that the best way to be a good husband was
to remember that marriage is a give and take matter, and not just “take.” To be a successful husband, you must overlook imagined grievances and wrongs, and be willing to make some real sacrifices, O’Shaugnessy said.
Mrs. Spearing told the assembly that her husband was home in St. Louis practicing the art of beins a good mother to their three children.
She and her husband are active in that city on a Sunday morning radio program designed to reach young families.
She said that the thing most husbands looked for when they came home from the day’s work was relaxation, that they didn’t like to help with the wash or aid in preparing dinner.
Mrs. Spearing added that she felt the one thing men admire in a wife is poise. And by poise, she said that she didn’t mean the ability to tip-toe across the room balancing a Bell directory while reading Vogue or Harper’s Bazaar.
Marry Young, She Urges
Beauty and brains are nice things to have, but your husband will be more satisfied with smoothness and balance than any other qualities, she told the girls in the audience.
Mrs. Spearing said that the color-ads in any home or fashion magazine took her breath away, but that a good wife must live within her husband’s income and be able to distinguish between needs and desires when shopping.
Marry young was her parting shot to the group. She emphasized that she was not advocating “child bride marriages” but that it was her own personal opinion that a girl should marry young and marry well.
Taken from The Garfieldian. Chicago, Illinois. March 13, 1947.
