By Ruth Millett
“I have always let him have his own way.” It’s amazing how often that line appears in letters from unhappy wives.
Still it shouldn’t be amazing. For how can any adult possibly be happy with another adult who must always be given into in order to keep peace?
The wife who is willing to “give in” when a matter is important to her husband should expect the same kind of tolerance from him when a matter comes up that is important to her.
It is better for a wife to go ahead and do what she feels like she must do even though she has only a grudging acquiescence from her husband, or even his prediction that she is making a big mistake, than to feel she can never do anything unless he shares her enthusiasm for it or agrees with her that is is right and important.
What if she does make a mistake now and then? It is better to make a few mistakes and accomplish much than never to make any mistakes and yet never get out of life anything except what someone else thinks you ought to want.
So if you always “give in” to your husband – don’t kid yourself that you are being a good wife.
A good wife isn’t a silent partner or a mere shadow. A good wife has a mind of her own and knows how to use it. A good wife has convictions of her own and knows when to stand by them. A good wife has ideas of her own and enough faith in them to carry them out – even without encouragement.
In short, to be a good wife a woman has to be a real person. And how can any woman be a real person when she is nothing but a “yes woman” to the man she married?
From the Flitchburg Sentinel. Flitchburg, Massachusetts. October 12, 1954.
