Another Dear Dorothy Dix Column.
DEAR DOROTHY DIX: I’m 14, a sophomore in high school, and have grown up too quickly – physically, mentally and emotionally. Everyone in this town goes steady but I believe in playing the field until I find someone I really like. Because of my feeling, I have a reputation of being “loose.” I’d very much like some of the boys as friends but don’t want to tied down to steady dating, there any solution to this dilemma?
— Suzie
DEAR SUZIE: Your good sense has kept up with your rapid growth in other respects. Congratulations on that. You might modify your position by going steadily, which includes making friends but bars serious entanglements. Many communities recognise this form of dating, which is nothing but a modern phrase for playing the field. You make no promises or pledges but go with one boy more than any other. It’s a fine distinction but has received official sanction from students in many high schools. Try it.
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DEAR DOROTHY DIX: When close relatives drop in and I’m interested in a book, should I stop reading to greet them or go on reading?
- M.J.
DEAR M.J.: What in the world has become of manners, of consideration, of courteous behavior? Such rudeness is inexcusable. Can’t you spare one minute out of a lifetime to greet people who have taken the trouble to call? Is a book, or TV, more important than people? The book can wait, but friends and relatives won’t come back to a boor.
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DEAR DOROTHY DIX: Is it true that when a girl reaches the age of 18 she’s her own boss in every way?
— Georgia
DEAR GEORGIA: The age at which a girl or boy becomes of age differs from state to state, and according to circumstances. For most purposes, but not all, a girl becomes of age at 18. Consult your local legal aid society for advice on your case.
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DEAR DOROTHY DIX: For three months I have been going with a married lady, the mother of an eight-year-old girl, who is not divorced from her husband. I’m very much in love with her and she has suggested that we take an apartment together. I’m 30, unmarried, and don’t quite know how to handle the situation.
- P.P.
DEAR P. P.: The lady (?) has all the tempting wiles of Mother Eve. Get as far away from her as possible. Take a train, plane, car, or get spiked shoes and run. The cosy apartment is likely to turn into a battleground when friend husband hears about it. To run may be cowardly but to stay means massacre.
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DEAR DOROTHY DIX: I’d like to comment on some advice you recently handed out, with which I strongly disagree. A young man, engaged to one girl, discovered he was in love with another. You told him to break his engagement and marry the girl he loved. I think he should stick with his fiancee. I was in the same predicament but I gathered up my courage, went through with the marriage and haven’t regretted it since. I, too, thought I no longer loved my fiancee once I had her “on the hook.” Who can feel love when worried or scared? A little fear is a good thing and proves you’re not taking marriage too lightly. As for the other girl, that’s simply an infatuation with the opposite sex which, let’s face it, a man never loses even after marriage.
The question to be asked is: Which girl would you want to spend the rest of your life with? If any man is in a similar position and needs encouragement, here are a few suggestions that helped me. (1) Spend as much time as possible with your fiancee. (2) When talking of wedding plans gets you nervous, change the subject. Let the girl work these things out with her mother. (3) Talk more about the good times you’ll have together after you’re married.
- H.C.
DEAR H. C.: Thanks for your interesting and helpful letter. Everyone does not get panicky when the wedding day approaches, but when the panic is caused by an emotional involvement over a third party, it’s time to do some deep self-probing to find out whether one is in love with his fiancee, the girl or just in love with love. The answer depends on the sincerity of his feelings for fiancee and the other girl. No one answer solves all problems but usually it’s better for an uncertain man to take a break. Glad you decided to stick — and made it.
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DEAR DOROTHY DIX: My best friend is an attractive girl except for very noticeable hairs around her mouth. Fellows kid about it, calling her my “moust-ached friend.” She’s a wonderful person, loyal and trustworthy. Would it be cruel of me to suggest something she can do?
- Estelle
DEAR ESTELLE: This is an annoying condition but can be removed so easily that it’s a shame for anyone to continue being bothered by it. You’d be doing the girl a favor if you recommended a cure. There are excellent depilatory creams on the market; electrolysis, in competent hands, is very effective. Tactfully suggest that she try either one.
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DEAR DOROTHY DIX: My boy friend and I have been going together for two years and are very much in love. He often teases about getting married but, since we have no money, that will have to wait a few years. Here’s the problem. He keeps six or seven pictures of his ex-girl friend in his wallet and only two of me.
— Almost Jealous
DEAR A. J.: Give him some more pictures of you. The other girl’s pictures are probably there because he just hasn’t bothered to remove them.
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DEAR DOROTHY DIX: My husband and I were secretly married over a year ago but for private reasons we have remained in our respective homes. Now he wants me to come and live at his house. I have always been against living with in-laws and feel we should wait until we can be on our own financially, which will be in about a year. Do you feel I am wrong in waiting?
— LESUE
DEAR LESLIE: Since the secret of a happy marriage is unending sacrifice, don’t you think it’s about time you began to give up a little? You are against living with in-laws; your husband is against this marriage mockery which shouldn’t have taken place, under the circumstances, at all. If you don’t sacrifice for your marriage now, you may not have a marriage in another year. Cooperate with your in-laws and you may find they’re not hard to live with.
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DEAR DOROTHY DIX: My mother-in-law embarrasses me to death by the way she dresses. She’s 5’2″, weighs 145 pounds, and insists on wearing slacks and shorts even to town. You can imagine how she looks. She has absolutely no taste and, even when she wears a dress, it’s most un-becoming. What I’d like to know is this. Should I offer to take her shopping and help her pick out some nice dresses or just let her go on looking ridiculous? Money is no problem with her. She has enough to dress well.
— Jane
DEAR JANE: Yon could make the suggestion – if you and your mother-in-law are on very good terms. If she’s aware of your true thoughts and feelings, I’m sure she’d turn thumbs down on any plans for a shopping spree. If you can approach her in a daughterly fashion and say, “Mom, let’s go shopping. I’d love to see you get dolled up.” She’ll probably say “Fine, let’s shoot the bankroll.” It’s all a question of how you go about it.
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DEAR DOROTHY DIX: Although I am far from marriageable age I have some advice for people with in-law trouble. If a girl just remembered that she married her husband for what he is, and because she loved him, she wouldn’t be looking for trouble. Furthermore she should consider that she wouldn’t have such a wonderful husband if it were not for her in-laws. She should be grateful to them. If people thought this way, in-law troubles would disappear.
— CONNIE
DEAR CONNIE: Out of the months of babes. I hope you’ll always feel this way, dear.
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DEAR DOROTHY DIX: I’m in a tough spot. My son is in Germany. His girl has stopped writing and he has asked me several times if she’s going out with other boys. She is, but I don’t know if I should tell him.
- DOLLY
DEAR DOLLY: Tell him. I’m sure your son is too much a man to want protection against unpleasant truths.
(Released by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.)
From The Frederick Post. Frederick, MD. January 17, 1957.
