…Another installment of Dear Dorothy Dix.
When I marry, I want my husband to be a success. I couldn’t bear to be the wife of a failure. Unfortunately, though, I’m in love with a boy who lacks ambition. I come from a well-to-do family and know people who have a lot of pull. They could help my boyfriend to get ahead, but he says he doesn’t want their help. I thought he meant he wanted to succeed himself, but when we discussed the subject frankly recently he admitted he’s contented in his dead-end job and doesn’t want to change it. I tried to convince him that he has the ability to be very successful (which is true), but he said he wasn’t interested. If I marry him, will I be able to persuade him to take the help I could give him?
AMBITIOUS
The boy would be unhappy if you managed to persuade him to take “help” he doesn’t want and you’d be unhappy if you couldn’t persuade him. So don’t marry him. The marriage wouldn’t work because you and the boy have conflicting outlooks. Choose a husband whose ambition matches your own – someone eager enough to take the help of friends with “a lot of pull” and strong enough to stand a lot of pushing from you.
DOROTHY DIX
He refuses to do the garden
The boy I’m going to marry says he loathes gardening and won’t even mow the lawn after we’re married. What makes me mad is the fact that he slaves in his mother’s garden. He says he has to or she’d nag him but I don’t know whether this is true. Anyway, I think it’s awful of him to say these things to me now, even if he thinks them.
GARDEN LOVER
I don’t think it’s wrong of the boy to call a spade a spade and tell you honestly how he feels about gardening. Would you prefer him to decieve you now and tell you later? This way, at least you know where you stand. You may even be able to find some way out. But don’t follow your future mother-in-law’s example and choose nagging. If you do, you and the boy will both have a hard row to hoe in marriage.
DOROTHY DIX
I want to solve a mystery
My boyfriend is rather mysterious about his past. He won’t tell me how many girlfriends he has had before and won’t say whether or not he was in love with any of them. This irritates me very much as I think I have a right to know. I’ve tried questioning him straight out and in a roundabout way but I’m gertting nowhere. His past is still wrapped in mystery. I’m 17; he’s 19.
MYSTIFIED
I don’t know why you have a right to know all about the boy’s former girlfriends. I suspect you’re just nosy. Probably, the boy thinks so too, and that’s why he’s determined not to give you the information you want. You’d better stop cross-questioning him. It’s an invasion of privacy and if you keep it up you might find that, instead of unwrapping a “mystery’” you’ve succeeded in packing up and finishing off your romance.
DOROTHY DIX
Neglected by the party host
When there’s a party at my boyfriend’s place, he rushes around mixing drinks for all the other guests and generally plays the perfect host to everyone but me. I’m told to look after myself “like a good girl” and, after that, although he dances with me and talks to me, I could die of thirst for all he cared. Sometimes, I’m even asked (by him or his mother) to help pour the drinks or pass the food around. I love this boy, and he says he wants to marry me but I can’t understand the way he treats me when I go to parties at his place. What’s your opinion, please?
UNATTENDED
It seems to me that you’re being treated like one of the family and, if that’s what you’d like to be some day, I wouldn’t object if I were you.
DOROTHY DIX
They all think I’m a flirt
Every boy who takes me out gets the idea that I’m a terrible flirt, but I’m not. It’s just that I’m very popular with the boys and I can’t help that, can I? What should I do?
MISUNDERSTOOD
I don’t think any girl can fool all the boys all the time. And you’re not fooling me, either. I think you are a flirt and enjoy being considered one. If I’m wrong, it’s up to you to correct the impression you’re giving. Just watch the behavior of the most reserved, lady-like girl you know and try to imitate her. It might be a bit difficult for you but try, anyway.
DOROTHY DIX
From Woman’s Day Magazine, Australia. August 2, 1965